Oh how I recall being that smug pregnant woman who thought ‘motherhood can’t be that hard?’ Oh how my thoughts changed!…
1.During pregnancy…. I’m going to be such a glam mum, stylish, great hair, immaculate make up.
Reality…. I’m going to be what?????Ha ha ha ha ha…. I laugh as I scrape the birds nest back off my bare face whilst wearing a grubby sweatshirt that my three year old thinks I wear is that he has somewhere to wipe his nose.
2. During pregnancy…..He will eat lovely home made meals every night of the week full of fresh vegetables and cooked lovingly by his earthy mamma.
Reality…..The only vegetable he eats is cauliflower and that’s only because I lather it in cheese sauce. I tell him George eats his vegetables and he asks me to prove it, knowing he can outsmart me on any Peppa knowledge….See above.
3. During pregnancy….. We are going to do wonderful creative activities every single day.
Reality…….Most of our time is spent with me chasing him around the living room trying to get him to wear a pair of trousers.
4. During pregnancy….My child won’t want to watch TV, and if he does I will limit his viewing time.
Reality…… my child can detail every episode of Blaze and the Monster Machines ever made and half of his vocabulary can be credited to Peppa Pig. I do get to clean my house now and again though…
5. During pregnancy… once I have this baby, I’m going to get in major shape.So toned and a smoking hot body!
Reality…… I stopped twice whilst writing that last sentence to finish my 2nd donut of the day. I’ve lost all will to be ‘smoking hot’ and I’m not sure if I even care…Food gets me through the day.
6. During pregnancy….. If my child does not want to do something we will discuss it in a calm manner.
Reality….. Bribery is my greatest parenting tool.
7. During pregnancy…. My child will be well behaved in all public spaces (said as I judge some little tyke bouncing off the tube walls)
Reality….Sometimes, when we are out, I wonder if he is on drugs. Sometimes I think I need drugs 😉